the only thing that changed about this image during the trip was the scenery behind the dog. she did this for about 95% of our journey to charlotte. we'll see if she repeats the performance en route to boston.
22.8.09
she will sniff the way to boston!
the only thing that changed about this image during the trip was the scenery behind the dog. she did this for about 95% of our journey to charlotte. we'll see if she repeats the performance en route to boston.
mile post 3, I-86, idaho
this is where jeepie bit the dust (and i almost did too) on a dark and icy night in the middle of idaho, december 2004. phew, glad i made it back!
if the atlas says so...it must be true
it's an old atlas...i wonder if this festival still exists...
cat in a barrel
we sure know how to have fun! last night in town, hanging out and pawning my stuff of on folks.
finally, photo blogging!
uma is so cute, I had to post this pic from our dinner at lovely hula hands.
day 3: dog is my co-pilot (she sat on my previous co-pilot, we re-arranged).
miles: lots
gas mileage: magically improved from days 1 & 2.
states: Utah and almost all of colorado.
thoughts: colorado is really wide. I think Colorado and I still have a challenged relationaship.
music: shuffle, npr, quiet.
things: delicious farmers' market peaches and nectarines. big mountains and big clouds. a dog with a runny nose. sending the first postcards. did I mention colorado is big? driving on winding, steep roads is exhausting. people who drive in Colorado drive fast...and like to tailgate.
destination: best western, stratton, co (almost Kansas, but it was too dark and fierce was panting a lot!). there is a tv here, and hence I am up past bedtime. turns out both human and dog feel safer while camping.
weirdness: as I was grabbing my goods out of the car at the motel, a young/college age girl stopped me and said, "um, I'm really forgetful...can you tell me what year it is?" her tone was so genuine...I'm still figuring out what to think of it.
miles: lots
gas mileage: magically improved from days 1 & 2.
states: Utah and almost all of colorado.
thoughts: colorado is really wide. I think Colorado and I still have a challenged relationaship.
music: shuffle, npr, quiet.
things: delicious farmers' market peaches and nectarines. big mountains and big clouds. a dog with a runny nose. sending the first postcards. did I mention colorado is big? driving on winding, steep roads is exhausting. people who drive in Colorado drive fast...and like to tailgate.
destination: best western, stratton, co (almost Kansas, but it was too dark and fierce was panting a lot!). there is a tv here, and hence I am up past bedtime. turns out both human and dog feel safer while camping.
weirdness: as I was grabbing my goods out of the car at the motel, a young/college age girl stopped me and said, "um, I'm really forgetful...can you tell me what year it is?" her tone was so genuine...I'm still figuring out what to think of it.
21.8.09
day 2: saraswati is my co-pilot.
places: eastern oregon, idaho, utah.
camping: wasatch mountain state park. stars and crickets.
eats: sauerkraut, chocolate, cheese, crackers, salami.
tunes: somewhere different now, watershed, patty, lucinda & the girls. shuffle. quiet.
sights: potatoes, jeepie's accident site of '04, dry brown hills, blue skies, fancy house developments built right up to the edge of park land.
hobbies: playing the harmie at state parks at night. laughing at the dog.
places: eastern oregon, idaho, utah.
camping: wasatch mountain state park. stars and crickets.
eats: sauerkraut, chocolate, cheese, crackers, salami.
tunes: somewhere different now, watershed, patty, lucinda & the girls. shuffle. quiet.
sights: potatoes, jeepie's accident site of '04, dry brown hills, blue skies, fancy house developments built right up to the edge of park land.
hobbies: playing the harmie at state parks at night. laughing at the dog.
19.8.09
18.8.09
8.8.09
vanessa's furniture
hi 77 hampstead housemates. here is a quick review of my furniture since i couldn't figure out how to put pictures on the google doc. cheers!
the vintage sectional sofa
the full shot, with dog
coffee table
chair and ottoman (comfiest chair ever)
small kitchen table (it has wings that fold down and make it a rectangle)
butcher block/craft table
dog sofa (a refinished sofa, but it has foam instead of seats)
the dog chair (i cleaned it. it's the dogs favorite chair and it's an ugly chair. maybe it can go on one of the porches?)
dog supply cabinet from recycled wood (screw mounts into wall)
the vintage sectional sofa
the full shot, with dog
coffee table
chair and ottoman (comfiest chair ever)
small kitchen table (it has wings that fold down and make it a rectangle)
butcher block/craft table
dog sofa (a refinished sofa, but it has foam instead of seats)
the dog chair (i cleaned it. it's the dogs favorite chair and it's an ugly chair. maybe it can go on one of the porches?)
dog supply cabinet from recycled wood (screw mounts into wall)
24.7.09
special delivery!
wow. the harmonium arrived.
of course, it arrived just as i plunked down to work on all of my loan and tuition and school-entering paperwork, which is spread all over the coffee table. so, i am biting my tongue and filling in forms until it's all done...pretending that there isn't a harmonium in a box less than five feet away from me! whoa. what a glorious day. pictures and playing to come.
of course, it arrived just as i plunked down to work on all of my loan and tuition and school-entering paperwork, which is spread all over the coffee table. so, i am biting my tongue and filling in forms until it's all done...pretending that there isn't a harmonium in a box less than five feet away from me! whoa. what a glorious day. pictures and playing to come.
19.7.09
fierce's new bf
this is reuben. he's a little corgi. he will also be fierce's new housemate come september. whoa. there may also be two chihuahuas in the mix. i'm just happy that i found a place to live in boston (actually, jamaica plain, which was my first choice) that meets all of my requirements (nice people, fenced yard, close to transit, close to yoga studio, close to co-op, doesn't break the bank, blah blah blah) and it's totally cute and spacious and has a fireplace. my bedroom is pink, there is room for my furniture and there are two screened in porches. whoa. dreams really do come true. i think having a place really makes makes me feel a bit more grounded and ready for this transition...and now i can fill out all the paperwork for school that requires a massachusetts address. this weekend has been so great! and further proof that life works out just the way it is supposed to. thank you darce, andy, caroline & bethany for reminding me of the east coast love.
(omg, this is all so exciting, but be prepared for uber-excitement next week when the harmonium arrives).
18.7.09
17.7.09
11.7.09
7.7.09
thank you google maps!
this is what i just did:
>>maps.google.com
>>get directions
>>from: portland, or
>>to: charlotte, nc
this is what google maps told me:
>>driving directions to charlotte, n carolina
>>suggested routes
I-80 E / 2,764 miles / 1 day 17 hours by car
(or)
I-84 E / 2,885 miles / 1 day 20 hours by car
(or)
IA-2 / 2,722 miles / 37 days 4 hours by foot
(or)
John Day Highway/US-26 / 2,728 miles / 37 days 6 hours by foot
>>i have some big decisions to make.
they make it look so easy...just less than two days to drive cross country?
>>maps.google.com
>>get directions
>>from: portland, or
>>to: charlotte, nc
this is what google maps told me:
>>driving directions to charlotte, n carolina
>>suggested routes
I-80 E / 2,764 miles / 1 day 17 hours by car
(or)
I-84 E / 2,885 miles / 1 day 20 hours by car
(or)
IA-2 / 2,722 miles / 37 days 4 hours by foot
(or)
John Day Highway/US-26 / 2,728 miles / 37 days 6 hours by foot
>>i have some big decisions to make.
they make it look so easy...just less than two days to drive cross country?
8.6.09
gulp... and eggs
i just cashed in 11 years of frequent flyer miles to book a trip to boston in july. i am such a hoarder that it almost hurts to actually use the miles. i like to just watch them collect in that account. i cashed in the equivalent of 14 one-way, cross country trips...all those trips to and from college for holidays and summers and all the other adventures that required air travel...and that is just on one airline. and now my miles account is at 848 miles. just numbers...and a free trip to find myself (and fierce, woof) a new home.
the girls haven't been using their nesting box, instead just making a nest in the straw on the floor of the coop (those weirdos). liz must have cleaned out the coop over the weekend while i was gone. anyhow, the girls must have been flustered since their floor-nest was gone with the clean out with not quite enough straw laid down to make a good nest (heaven forbid they hop back up to the perfect nesting box!)...chickens are really good at panic-ing. anyhow, i heard some ferocious squawking this morning...the kind the girls make when they are unhappy and uncomfortable when it comes to getting the eggs out. fierce and i went to investigate. they had nested themselves next to each other, by the fence, under the juniper bushes, in cozy little spots and they were ready to lay some eggs. fierce nosed them back to the coop and i assessed the coop situation to find out why they moved their operation, put more straw down and let them back to it. later there was some scuffling as two dogs and a chicken were fighting over a shell. turns out someone (gotta be big bird by the size and color of the shell) was still determined to lay her egg in the bushes...and then one of the mutts found it and made lunch of it. such drama around these parts. i locked the girls back in their pen (their very luxurious pen) and i hope they will get back in the coop-egg-laying habit.
just think how juicy these stories will be when i have a flock of 300 on my farm/yoga retreat center. see you all there!
and just to prove that all is not dog & chicken drama around here, this was the scene last week. which is also the same week in which l'il red found her way onto the kitchen sink for the first time. they are getting gutsy!
over and out (as my pa likes to say)
the girls haven't been using their nesting box, instead just making a nest in the straw on the floor of the coop (those weirdos). liz must have cleaned out the coop over the weekend while i was gone. anyhow, the girls must have been flustered since their floor-nest was gone with the clean out with not quite enough straw laid down to make a good nest (heaven forbid they hop back up to the perfect nesting box!)...chickens are really good at panic-ing. anyhow, i heard some ferocious squawking this morning...the kind the girls make when they are unhappy and uncomfortable when it comes to getting the eggs out. fierce and i went to investigate. they had nested themselves next to each other, by the fence, under the juniper bushes, in cozy little spots and they were ready to lay some eggs. fierce nosed them back to the coop and i assessed the coop situation to find out why they moved their operation, put more straw down and let them back to it. later there was some scuffling as two dogs and a chicken were fighting over a shell. turns out someone (gotta be big bird by the size and color of the shell) was still determined to lay her egg in the bushes...and then one of the mutts found it and made lunch of it. such drama around these parts. i locked the girls back in their pen (their very luxurious pen) and i hope they will get back in the coop-egg-laying habit.
just think how juicy these stories will be when i have a flock of 300 on my farm/yoga retreat center. see you all there!
and just to prove that all is not dog & chicken drama around here, this was the scene last week. which is also the same week in which l'il red found her way onto the kitchen sink for the first time. they are getting gutsy!
over and out (as my pa likes to say)
1.6.09
just past midnight + $3
it is just past midnight and finally cool enough to feel the comfort of summer-time goose bumps. fierce has finally moved inside, i assume because the house has cooled enough for her black-furred body to handle the temperature. i don't remember it being this warm and dry here this early...but when it comes to weather i tend to lump entire months into the rain gear or the sun gear category for the bike or the farm, and that's hardly scientific. i am also not complaining. i am happy to have multiple tan lines and peeling skin on my pink-ish nose on the last day of may.
at least the summer is here to make one thing feel certain. the rest of me is in the juggle, the quiet, the anxious of the not-here, not-there of moving at the end of summer. the close of yoga school, the not knowing how long my job will continue, finding the sweet joy in dear friendships without allowing the fear of loss to creep in, appreciation of the huge back yard, collecting chicken feathers and eggs. to exist with a hightened awareness of impermenence: to embrace without clinging, to appreciate without grasping. but really...isn't that all that life is anyway, i just feel it in an exagerated sense because i am going to make a big geographical transition? striking impermanence or evolutionary change, nothing stays the same forever and this is an excellent reminder to live with that notion. my practice: stay with the longing to be present: sitting on the plywood deck with a cup of tea watching the dogs watch the chickens who watch for worms. soaking in the sun and the moment and the knowing that these glorious portland moments are not permanent. that these moments are not because of portland, but because this is just the space i get to be in now. that all of this can be packed into my snail shell heart and will follow me wherever i walk. to have the hope and open heart that whatever comes next offers the same promise, just different packaging (and a much small backyard...sans chickens, really...i'm not attached...i swear).
i am taking baby steps in the packing process. that way the transition of all my stuff (mainly kitchen equiptment, art supplies, clothes and outdoor gear [probably in that order by volume]) into boxes can be about organization and remembering and cleaning out (purging!) and not hurried dumping just to get it all out of dodge on time. i have piles of books for powells, clothes that will get rejected from buffalo exchange, a goodwill bag and borrowed items to return to friends. today i bought $3 worth of ziplock bags to organize sewing and craft supplies. there is something so refreshing about combing through everything i own and asking, "do i need this?" which then turns into "what does this mean to me?"and possibly, "when will i ever need powdered graphite lock lubricant?". how refreshing to head off knowing that i won't be taking anything i don't need, and i don't just mean the stuff i get to unpack and put on a shelf. the things i need surprise me: a journalist's notebook with my nana's handwriting on the first page, cut out horoscopes and fortune cookie fortunes, fabric scraps, chandelier crystals, twelve different pairs of scissors, ceramic tiles, two white-bound copies of the catcher in the rye, rusted paperclips, a heart full of love for all the intangibles i am blessed to be surrounded by here (read: dear friends, teachers, yoga studio, landscape, agriculture, lifestyle). a heart that is full.
purnamadah purnamidam purnaat purnamudachyate purnasya purnaamadaya purnameva vashishyate.
at least the summer is here to make one thing feel certain. the rest of me is in the juggle, the quiet, the anxious of the not-here, not-there of moving at the end of summer. the close of yoga school, the not knowing how long my job will continue, finding the sweet joy in dear friendships without allowing the fear of loss to creep in, appreciation of the huge back yard, collecting chicken feathers and eggs. to exist with a hightened awareness of impermenence: to embrace without clinging, to appreciate without grasping. but really...isn't that all that life is anyway, i just feel it in an exagerated sense because i am going to make a big geographical transition? striking impermanence or evolutionary change, nothing stays the same forever and this is an excellent reminder to live with that notion. my practice: stay with the longing to be present: sitting on the plywood deck with a cup of tea watching the dogs watch the chickens who watch for worms. soaking in the sun and the moment and the knowing that these glorious portland moments are not permanent. that these moments are not because of portland, but because this is just the space i get to be in now. that all of this can be packed into my snail shell heart and will follow me wherever i walk. to have the hope and open heart that whatever comes next offers the same promise, just different packaging (and a much small backyard...sans chickens, really...i'm not attached...i swear).
i am taking baby steps in the packing process. that way the transition of all my stuff (mainly kitchen equiptment, art supplies, clothes and outdoor gear [probably in that order by volume]) into boxes can be about organization and remembering and cleaning out (purging!) and not hurried dumping just to get it all out of dodge on time. i have piles of books for powells, clothes that will get rejected from buffalo exchange, a goodwill bag and borrowed items to return to friends. today i bought $3 worth of ziplock bags to organize sewing and craft supplies. there is something so refreshing about combing through everything i own and asking, "do i need this?" which then turns into "what does this mean to me?"and possibly, "when will i ever need powdered graphite lock lubricant?". how refreshing to head off knowing that i won't be taking anything i don't need, and i don't just mean the stuff i get to unpack and put on a shelf. the things i need surprise me: a journalist's notebook with my nana's handwriting on the first page, cut out horoscopes and fortune cookie fortunes, fabric scraps, chandelier crystals, twelve different pairs of scissors, ceramic tiles, two white-bound copies of the catcher in the rye, rusted paperclips, a heart full of love for all the intangibles i am blessed to be surrounded by here (read: dear friends, teachers, yoga studio, landscape, agriculture, lifestyle). a heart that is full.
purnamadah purnamidam purnaat purnamudachyate purnasya purnaamadaya purnameva vashishyate.
argh. harumph.
details, schmetails. i really want to be able to e-mail photos to the blog...but blogger is not letting me do such things and i don't know how to fix it. that i can handle...what i can't handle (well, i can handle it...it's just frustrating!) is the impossibility of sending a real e-mail to a real person at blogger who can answer my question. what's a girl to do?
7.5.09
procrastination station
last night i did something i haven't done in months. i opened my computer and looked at fun websites and goofed off. a friend came over for dinner and shared two funny website with me...and from there i lost myself in the time-warp abyss of the internet.
it started here...awkward family photos.com
and went to here...things christian culture likes.com
and (of course) included a visit to kittens inspired by kittens
i ran across this passage that i really like (oddly enough, it was included in a post about texting/tweeting during church services).
'There are quiet places also in the mind', he said meditatively. 'But we
build bandstands and factories on them. Deliberately — to put a stop to the
quietness. ... All the thoughts, all the preoccupations in my head — round
and round, continually, What's it for? What's it all for? To put an end to
the quiet, to break it up and disperse it, to pretend at any cost that it
isn't there. Ah, but it is; it is there, in spite of everything, at the back
of everything. Lying awake at night — not restlessly, but serenely, waiting
for sleep — the quiet re-establishes itself, piece by piece; all the broken
bits ... It re-establishes itself, an inward quiet, like the outward quiet
of grass and trees. It fills one, it grows — a crystal quiet, a growing,
expanding crystal. It grows, it becomes more perfect; it is beautiful and
terrifying ... For one's alone in the crystal, and there's no support from
the outside, there is nothing external and important, nothing external and
trivial to pull oneself up by or stand on ... There is nothing to laugh at
or feel enthusiast about. But the quiet grows and grows. Beautifully and
unbearably. And at last you are conscious of something approaching; it is
almost a faint sound of footsteps. Something inexpressively lovely and
wonderful advances through the crystal, nearer, nearer. And, oh,
inexpressively terrifying. For if it were to touch you, if it were to seize
you and engulf you, you'd die; all the regular, habitual daily part of you
would die .... one would have to begin living arduously in the quiet,
arduously in some strange, unheard of manner.'
– Aldous Huxley, Antic Hay
that's all from here. happy rain-sun-cloud-rain-sun day!
it started here...awkward family photos.com
and went to here...things christian culture likes.com
and (of course) included a visit to kittens inspired by kittens
i ran across this passage that i really like (oddly enough, it was included in a post about texting/tweeting during church services).
'There are quiet places also in the mind', he said meditatively. 'But we
build bandstands and factories on them. Deliberately — to put a stop to the
quietness. ... All the thoughts, all the preoccupations in my head — round
and round, continually, What's it for? What's it all for? To put an end to
the quiet, to break it up and disperse it, to pretend at any cost that it
isn't there. Ah, but it is; it is there, in spite of everything, at the back
of everything. Lying awake at night — not restlessly, but serenely, waiting
for sleep — the quiet re-establishes itself, piece by piece; all the broken
bits ... It re-establishes itself, an inward quiet, like the outward quiet
of grass and trees. It fills one, it grows — a crystal quiet, a growing,
expanding crystal. It grows, it becomes more perfect; it is beautiful and
terrifying ... For one's alone in the crystal, and there's no support from
the outside, there is nothing external and important, nothing external and
trivial to pull oneself up by or stand on ... There is nothing to laugh at
or feel enthusiast about. But the quiet grows and grows. Beautifully and
unbearably. And at last you are conscious of something approaching; it is
almost a faint sound of footsteps. Something inexpressively lovely and
wonderful advances through the crystal, nearer, nearer. And, oh,
inexpressively terrifying. For if it were to touch you, if it were to seize
you and engulf you, you'd die; all the regular, habitual daily part of you
would die .... one would have to begin living arduously in the quiet,
arduously in some strange, unheard of manner.'
– Aldous Huxley, Antic Hay
that's all from here. happy rain-sun-cloud-rain-sun day!
20.4.09
chicks! chicks! chicks!
the garden of wonders crew just got bigger as the chicken eggs hatched. check out this adorable video of the little peepers (click here)! it's hard to get anything done in here with all the peeping! omg, so cute!
15.4.09
the best story ever!
i just got off the phone with one of my dearest, most wonderful friends in the world (who also happens to live in portland). she is living the dream with her garden and chickens and wood stove and soon to be natural built house (cob, straw bale, not sure). she just told me that today just as she stepped into her nyc apartment sized chicken coop to visit her girls and check for eggs outside the laying boxes, the wind slammed the door shut and she was locked inside her coop. thank goodness for cell phones and co-workers...otherwise she might have roosted with the girls ovenight.
9.2.09
oh dear!
i am leaving the country in approximately 48 hours.
i woke up feeling quite sick this morning with the bug that is going around.
i am experiencing difficulty sourcing duct tape.
i have not packed yet.
i am feeling slightly unprepared.
however, my passport is valid and i am reading some great books right now.
so really, i don't have anything to stress about!
back on the 19th!
yo.
i woke up feeling quite sick this morning with the bug that is going around.
i am experiencing difficulty sourcing duct tape.
i have not packed yet.
i am feeling slightly unprepared.
however, my passport is valid and i am reading some great books right now.
so really, i don't have anything to stress about!
back on the 19th!
yo.
11.12.08
waiting. solstice. patience. hope. longing.
i had forgotten, in the scurry and the rush of the fall, in the urgent need to be getting somewhere else soon...that this year was planned for me as a break, a time to slow down, a time not to rush, a year to practice doing less. how easily i forgot!
in these last few weeks, since my return from the thanksgiving holiday, i began to again create the space to slow down. to be present. to be satisfied with what is. to be here now. to want nothing more than what i have around me. a slow, mindful plodding through life. how good it feels to be grounded again. how much more in touch i feel with my intuition, ability to be honest with myself, ability to gracefully move through the days when i am mindful of every step. it makes moving forward feel right and it makes looking back feel peaceful. how my understanding of my role in this world falls into place.
in remembering why i created this space for myself this year, i've been enjoying my days more. i stop to listen, i allow distraction, i sleep in sometimes! this afternoon, in the kitchen, making backyard fresh french toast, listening to npr...i stopped in the middle of the linoleum to listen. the guest on day-to-day, james carroll talking about his recent op-ed in the boston globe: surviving the dark winter solstice. i was enamored. their banter, the call-in guests, all of it (gasp, even the part about the economy!) wafted gently through the air to settle in all the right places of what i have been thinking of lately. the audio of the segment can be found here, on the npr website.
i can't begin to do justice to the thoughts i the essay. i think they just hit me where i am right now. the juxstaposition of being present and longing for something else. the balance. the interplay. so i'll just highlight his words here.
"...But perhaps darkness is less the source of our anguish than the medium in which it is most painfully felt. Memory and expectation define the days of December - nostalgia for holidays of yore, the letter to Santa - because the past and the future are the unpolluted zones of consciousness. The present is always less than we imagine it could be, and that aspect of awareness most profoundly shapes the human condition.
I began by saying that darkness defines one pole of the psyche. Darkness is not its axis: there is something else. The double-mindedness that insists in the time of long nights that long days are surely coming back is itself the antidote. Humans cannot have the experience that something is missing without supplying it through an unwilled act of imagination. That is why, finally, longing and desire weigh so much more than nostalgia and regret. To want, in the true economy, is already to have. What we know of the light, we learn in the dark."
my favorite thought from the program being that of a caller (from portland!) who was talking about the tide, how we focus on the ebb and the flow, but we forget the moment of stillness when the water is neither coming or going. the edge. i like that thought, especially after a long personal focus on impermanance and the constant change in life. maybe it's a good idea to recognize and feel the silent spaces and the small moments when life stands still.
i will be in charlotte for the solstice on december 21st. practicing holding still and feeling the moment and the love. the darkness that shows us the light!
in these last few weeks, since my return from the thanksgiving holiday, i began to again create the space to slow down. to be present. to be satisfied with what is. to be here now. to want nothing more than what i have around me. a slow, mindful plodding through life. how good it feels to be grounded again. how much more in touch i feel with my intuition, ability to be honest with myself, ability to gracefully move through the days when i am mindful of every step. it makes moving forward feel right and it makes looking back feel peaceful. how my understanding of my role in this world falls into place.
in remembering why i created this space for myself this year, i've been enjoying my days more. i stop to listen, i allow distraction, i sleep in sometimes! this afternoon, in the kitchen, making backyard fresh french toast, listening to npr...i stopped in the middle of the linoleum to listen. the guest on day-to-day, james carroll talking about his recent op-ed in the boston globe: surviving the dark winter solstice. i was enamored. their banter, the call-in guests, all of it (gasp, even the part about the economy!) wafted gently through the air to settle in all the right places of what i have been thinking of lately. the audio of the segment can be found here, on the npr website.
i can't begin to do justice to the thoughts i the essay. i think they just hit me where i am right now. the juxstaposition of being present and longing for something else. the balance. the interplay. so i'll just highlight his words here.
"...But perhaps darkness is less the source of our anguish than the medium in which it is most painfully felt. Memory and expectation define the days of December - nostalgia for holidays of yore, the letter to Santa - because the past and the future are the unpolluted zones of consciousness. The present is always less than we imagine it could be, and that aspect of awareness most profoundly shapes the human condition.
I began by saying that darkness defines one pole of the psyche. Darkness is not its axis: there is something else. The double-mindedness that insists in the time of long nights that long days are surely coming back is itself the antidote. Humans cannot have the experience that something is missing without supplying it through an unwilled act of imagination. That is why, finally, longing and desire weigh so much more than nostalgia and regret. To want, in the true economy, is already to have. What we know of the light, we learn in the dark."
my favorite thought from the program being that of a caller (from portland!) who was talking about the tide, how we focus on the ebb and the flow, but we forget the moment of stillness when the water is neither coming or going. the edge. i like that thought, especially after a long personal focus on impermanance and the constant change in life. maybe it's a good idea to recognize and feel the silent spaces and the small moments when life stands still.
i will be in charlotte for the solstice on december 21st. practicing holding still and feeling the moment and the love. the darkness that shows us the light!
6.12.08
christmas card pictures?
i have been toying with the idea of sending out not only christmas cards, but christmas card pictures. it's a long standing tradition in my family, and i thought i could make something humorous that involved chickens, dogs and me. i thought about sending pictures of just chickens and dogs, but then i thought that people who lived far away and haven't seen me in a while would just be confused. "is she the chicken or the dog?" they would ask, and then that would take a lot of explaining. anyhow, liz and i refurbished the chicken house this afternoon (this glorious, sunny, dry afternoon!) and i asked her to take some pictures that might work for a christmas card.
ABSOLUTE FAILURE!
not only am i the antithesis of photogenic, but my camera is crap. so, i will post one picture, which is the best of the bunch, which says a lot about the quality of the bunch. you'll also notice that this is not my dog in the picture...but at least you can see the chickens.
oh well. we do what we can!
what a day. fierce is conked out on the sofa, limbs agog! i got up early for saturday mediation and yoga which i have missed for over a month now with so much travel and working. it felt so good! then some lovely chatting! and then liz and i took fierce and cleo to kelly point park for some stick tossing and swimming and it was marvelous and i got to finally talk to long lost east coast pals. all before 3pm! then liz and i worked on the coop - expanding the chicken run. and then i went on a little (ie, totally insufficient) practice ride in the park for the race tomorrow. i can now successfull get on and dismount the bike without fear of disaster. which is a good sign. i am so excited to be racing tomorrow and trying something new and having a little excitement. and it's at 8:45 in the morning so i can still go to the green eggs & ham party and the cozy backyard cottage welcoming party.
here's what it comes down to...it's nice to have a weekend at home! it's nice to have a weekend of relaxing and not having to worry about getting anything done. lovely, lovely, lovely! life is good!
time to shower and then off to scrabble! i haven't played scrabble in ages.
ok, ok, just one more pictures. it's an exciting picture because i am actually holding big bird. the only reason i am holding her is because the dog got out while the chickens were free-ranging and fierce scared big bird onto the neighbors roof. liz hopped the fence to get her and handed her to me. since the girls are so skittish and we don't get to hold them often, it called for a photo.
ABSOLUTE FAILURE!
not only am i the antithesis of photogenic, but my camera is crap. so, i will post one picture, which is the best of the bunch, which says a lot about the quality of the bunch. you'll also notice that this is not my dog in the picture...but at least you can see the chickens.
oh well. we do what we can!
what a day. fierce is conked out on the sofa, limbs agog! i got up early for saturday mediation and yoga which i have missed for over a month now with so much travel and working. it felt so good! then some lovely chatting! and then liz and i took fierce and cleo to kelly point park for some stick tossing and swimming and it was marvelous and i got to finally talk to long lost east coast pals. all before 3pm! then liz and i worked on the coop - expanding the chicken run. and then i went on a little (ie, totally insufficient) practice ride in the park for the race tomorrow. i can now successfull get on and dismount the bike without fear of disaster. which is a good sign. i am so excited to be racing tomorrow and trying something new and having a little excitement. and it's at 8:45 in the morning so i can still go to the green eggs & ham party and the cozy backyard cottage welcoming party.
here's what it comes down to...it's nice to have a weekend at home! it's nice to have a weekend of relaxing and not having to worry about getting anything done. lovely, lovely, lovely! life is good!
time to shower and then off to scrabble! i haven't played scrabble in ages.
ok, ok, just one more pictures. it's an exciting picture because i am actually holding big bird. the only reason i am holding her is because the dog got out while the chickens were free-ranging and fierce scared big bird onto the neighbors roof. liz hopped the fence to get her and handed her to me. since the girls are so skittish and we don't get to hold them often, it called for a photo.
20.11.08
fierce loves mail
i wish, i wish, i wish i had pictures from about 10 seconds before these ones. the sun broke through the clouds at the same time the mail carrier came. i took it as a brilliant opportunity to stretch my legs and fetch the mail. i brought in the pile which included this large envelope from my family (aka fierce's grandparents). i put the pile on the tape and sorted out the junk mail. fierce nosed the pile and immediately, and very delicately, pulled out the large envelope from my parents. she carried it to the sofa and daintily started to chew it open. i know i should have stopped her right away, but it was the most curious and adorable thing that i have ever seen. in particular, i really like the way she hugs the envelope in order to get into it. the shenanigans stopped there, by my order...but she looked quite sad. silly dog.
yay! yay! yay! li'l red does it!
oh friends and sometimes-readers of this blog! (aka, oh al!)
exciting, exciting news!
my little hen, the little rhode island red, started talking on sunday. i got home from maupin and noticed she was making a little bit more noise than usual. using her lungs, practicing her chicken squawks. she hadn't laid an egg yet...and i was worried that she was a nervous, anxious chicken (i could imagine getting chased around a pen by a dog all day would do that to you) and she might never lay eggs. but her voice got louder througout the week which is one of those down-home signs that a chicken is going to start laying eggs. and this morning there were all sorts of peeps and squawks and i didn't see li'l red in the run...and i hoped she was inside ,in the nesting box, getting down to business.
well my friends! after a long day (a kind of emotional day) i came home, put on the xtra tuffs and ventured into the backyard at 9pm with my headlamp and a camping mug full of geverztraminer. i hoped to find some sort of small brown egg in the nesting box, but fearing disappointment, i was excited merely by the thought of just getting to hold the chickens. [they are docile when they sleep on their perch, practically the only time they hold still long enough for me to pick them up]. i opened the coop door and squeeled with delight when i saw two large white eggs (big bird has been productive!) and one, tiny, brown egg! joy of joys. it was the tiniest chicken egg ever. almost as small as the smallest bantam egg we put in the incubator last spring. tiny. miniscule. i guess that means li'l red is a bantam!? i'm not sure. she could be (the egg she hatched from was medium-small) but she is also the same size as big bird (who is not a bantam, but very small for her leghorn size). regardless...brown eggs! brown eggs! ahhh, i couldn't be more excited! so, of course, i refreshed the girls' water and watched them drink. if you have never watched a chicken drink water...you really should. it is one of the most precious things i have ever, ever seen. and, of course, if i like it---you'll like it too.
back to point. the late night egg harvest, the photos and the ohh-ing and ahhh-ing woke the girls up and they ventured out in the run to eat and drink. they are so cute! li'l red was using her voice some more (if an egg just came out of my butt i am sure i would be talking too!) and i have never been so proud of my girls. growing vegetables is one thing...but raising animals that provide the food i eat (read, fried egg on buttered toast!) is unbeatable. i just love it. it deepens my understanding of science, agriculture and our food system...and it also makes me believe in miracles.
the fancy nesting box that i finally built for the girls. i'm so glad they know how to use it. yay for chicken instincts.
big bird on the left. li'l red on the right. they are still pretty tiny even though they are both almost 7 months old.
fierces favortie job: chicken duty. she likes to herd them. sometimes i'd really like to be inside her brain.
see! see how small it is! teeny, tiny! delicious!
and not to neglect my favorite mammal...fierce is doing splendidly. we've been bonding alot lately. she does amazing things like she comes when i call her (really, this is amazing...you didn't know her a year and a half ago). we go for off-leash runs by the columbia river...and i can let her in the front yard, to the car or even leave her out at maupin without fear that she will run off. she also just got 'evaluated' at the local boarding house cause she's going to have to spend some days there during the turkey holiday and the decidious tree holiday while i travel. such is life (my heart is torn in two by this, actually). and for the sake of equality (you all know we are very pro equality here)...check out these classic fierce (and cleo) photos from the last week.
cleo up front. fierce in the back.
exciting, exciting news!
my little hen, the little rhode island red, started talking on sunday. i got home from maupin and noticed she was making a little bit more noise than usual. using her lungs, practicing her chicken squawks. she hadn't laid an egg yet...and i was worried that she was a nervous, anxious chicken (i could imagine getting chased around a pen by a dog all day would do that to you) and she might never lay eggs. but her voice got louder througout the week which is one of those down-home signs that a chicken is going to start laying eggs. and this morning there were all sorts of peeps and squawks and i didn't see li'l red in the run...and i hoped she was inside ,in the nesting box, getting down to business.
well my friends! after a long day (a kind of emotional day) i came home, put on the xtra tuffs and ventured into the backyard at 9pm with my headlamp and a camping mug full of geverztraminer. i hoped to find some sort of small brown egg in the nesting box, but fearing disappointment, i was excited merely by the thought of just getting to hold the chickens. [they are docile when they sleep on their perch, practically the only time they hold still long enough for me to pick them up]. i opened the coop door and squeeled with delight when i saw two large white eggs (big bird has been productive!) and one, tiny, brown egg! joy of joys. it was the tiniest chicken egg ever. almost as small as the smallest bantam egg we put in the incubator last spring. tiny. miniscule. i guess that means li'l red is a bantam!? i'm not sure. she could be (the egg she hatched from was medium-small) but she is also the same size as big bird (who is not a bantam, but very small for her leghorn size). regardless...brown eggs! brown eggs! ahhh, i couldn't be more excited! so, of course, i refreshed the girls' water and watched them drink. if you have never watched a chicken drink water...you really should. it is one of the most precious things i have ever, ever seen. and, of course, if i like it---you'll like it too.
back to point. the late night egg harvest, the photos and the ohh-ing and ahhh-ing woke the girls up and they ventured out in the run to eat and drink. they are so cute! li'l red was using her voice some more (if an egg just came out of my butt i am sure i would be talking too!) and i have never been so proud of my girls. growing vegetables is one thing...but raising animals that provide the food i eat (read, fried egg on buttered toast!) is unbeatable. i just love it. it deepens my understanding of science, agriculture and our food system...and it also makes me believe in miracles.
the fancy nesting box that i finally built for the girls. i'm so glad they know how to use it. yay for chicken instincts.
big bird on the left. li'l red on the right. they are still pretty tiny even though they are both almost 7 months old.
fierces favortie job: chicken duty. she likes to herd them. sometimes i'd really like to be inside her brain.
see! see how small it is! teeny, tiny! delicious!and not to neglect my favorite mammal...fierce is doing splendidly. we've been bonding alot lately. she does amazing things like she comes when i call her (really, this is amazing...you didn't know her a year and a half ago). we go for off-leash runs by the columbia river...and i can let her in the front yard, to the car or even leave her out at maupin without fear that she will run off. she also just got 'evaluated' at the local boarding house cause she's going to have to spend some days there during the turkey holiday and the decidious tree holiday while i travel. such is life (my heart is torn in two by this, actually). and for the sake of equality (you all know we are very pro equality here)...check out these classic fierce (and cleo) photos from the last week.
cleo up front. fierce in the back.31.10.08
traveling...again
why is it that i am finding myself on the road more than at home lately? it's an exciting way to live (out of a backpack...my favorite) except for the poor dog who is hanging out at home with her surrogate family. come to think of it, she's probably just fine. she has cleo and the chickens and lots of people to take care of her...all without an annoying mom to nag here. what could be better. i guess i just miss her! but at least i can get excited about the jumping, excited greeting i'll get upon my return home next week. that's what's so great about dogs...they are good at making you feel loved when you come home from a long day at work (or a long trip out of town). if only dogs could fly more easily (if only dogs had wings?).
i am in the denver airport. procrastinating a some grant writing and enjoying all the flight crews in halloween costume. thank goodness for wireless internet and computers. would i have to sit still and actually deal with myself if not for these wonderful distractions?
maybe it's time for some airport yoga. handstands anyone?
happy halloween & happy almost november.
i am in the denver airport. procrastinating a some grant writing and enjoying all the flight crews in halloween costume. thank goodness for wireless internet and computers. would i have to sit still and actually deal with myself if not for these wonderful distractions?
maybe it's time for some airport yoga. handstands anyone?
happy halloween & happy almost november.
24.10.08
upside down dogs
tonight liz sent me a link to upside down dogs. fierce has found her people! fierce is the ultimate upside down dog. infact, the second picture on the link could be fierce...except that she's not really known for holding round items in her mouth like that. who knew there were a whole slew of upside down dogs out there? and they are all so cute.
here is a recent picture of fierce drying off after a late night willamette river paddle. she stayed in the boat, but was really really curious about the black stuff we were floating on. such a cute dog!
new york city
last weekend i had the pleasure of joining my family and my extended family on a journey to new york to discover our family lineage. it was so much fun! fun to visit ellis island and the tenament museum. ok, fun might not be the best word. we had a fun time with each other...but those places and the stories they tell are quite somber. it was a moving experience. it was also great to see my dad and brother...who i don't get to see often enough. (portland sort of does that to people). this is a picture of kirk and i on ellis island. we were aiming for 'christmas card picture' quality...but i think mom is going to be disappointed again.
and this is the whole clan. i was so glad to find the roots of my liberal blood (kirk's height and my voting record don't match anything else in our four-person family).
and this is my dad's picture of st. patrick's cathedral. he is proud of it, so i thought i might as well post it here. kirk and i each lit a candle for grandma, how could you not?!
and this is the whole clan. i was so glad to find the roots of my liberal blood (kirk's height and my voting record don't match anything else in our four-person family).
and this is my dad's picture of st. patrick's cathedral. he is proud of it, so i thought i might as well post it here. kirk and i each lit a candle for grandma, how could you not?!
as promised...birthday pictures
fierce knows where to find the frosting
ooops, this isn't rotated the right way. however, that wouldn't help this picture look any better. thank goodness all the faces are obscured.
jana flies shannon. that's a good takeoff. the landing wasn't so smooth.
28. a respctable age. a respctable spelling.i voted! i voted!
ok, ok i know the photo is blurry. however, the filled in bubble is not blurry and this vote is going to count! what i love about being an oregon voter is our vote by mail system. it means that i can sit at the kitchen table, drink some ginseng peppermint tea and vote while i listen to the dog snore and heater kick on. what could be better than that?this was a pretty easy ballot to fill out. the only one that gave me trouble was east multnomah soil and water conservation district, director, at large 2. it doesn't help when one of the candidates isn't in the voter guide. i resorted to the weekly's description. anyhow, it's done! i will drop it off at the library tomorrow. make sure it gets tucked into that special box real careful.
i can't wait for election night! or election day for that matter! yay yay yay!
15.10.08
birthday thank yous
thank you friends and family for all the birthday wishes last week. it was so nice to have so many lovely e-mails and phone calls. it was a lovely birthday and i am so excited to be 28! i am convinced that 28 is going to be the best year of my life. so far, so good. i had a little birthday shindig on friday and as soon as i get the photos back (from the disposable cameras we all used) i will post some pictures (gasp, something other than dogs and chickens?). so, thank you friends near and far...you all make life worth living.
yay!
yay!
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