31.12.04
i'm really excited about my quilt (ok, there are a lot of things that i am excited about, but right now i'm smitten with the idea of making a quilt). i have all my squares cut, and i used only scrap fabric that i found in my collections or around the house. sure, i'll have to buy some batting and some fabric for the reverse side, but that's ok. anyhow, i practiced a bit yesterday, and i'm so excited to piece the whole thing together. so many projects, so little time!
two night ago my dad and i watched a series on the bible code on the history channel. it was interesting, but a at the same time a bit too hard to believe. learn more about bible code here. well, i've been wondering if the bible code predicts the recent tsunami. but i can't find anything.
also, can't wait to see the final episode of world biker build-off: 2004.
also, can't wait to see the final episode of world biker build-off: 2004.
29.12.04
this is the time of year i love, and i'm so glad to be doing it while living with my parents and having minimal expenses. it's the look-for-new-stores-to-carry-the-vanessa jean-line time of year. it's fun. i have a whole bunch of line sheets, and a whole lot of envelopes, and i just mail them out to stores all over the country that i think would be a great match for my product. it's always a shot in the dark, but a fraction of the price of doing a trade show, and it works ok. especially since i already have a whole bunch of line sheets made up from a year ago, but i'm going to amend them with a cute picture of the new clutch thingy that i've dreamed up. it's really cute and i think it will sell well.
i'm also still cranky pants to the max, but being on the computer helps. sometimes i get a bit challenged when i don't have personal space or any 'vanessa' time. i don't seem to get much done, but that's ok.
what to do, what to do.
i'm also still cranky pants to the max, but being on the computer helps. sometimes i get a bit challenged when i don't have personal space or any 'vanessa' time. i don't seem to get much done, but that's ok.
what to do, what to do.
would you like some cheese with that whine?
i'm in a bad mood. i'm cranky to the max.
but...i also am alive, and that is something that i should be grateful for, especially with the other things going on in the world right now.
l'il dude has been declared unsafe to ride. the frame was taxed in the accident, and it isn't fit to repair. so now i have a totally healthy looking frame that i love, but can't do anything with (other than hang on my wall). well, back to work.
i'm in a bad mood. i'm cranky to the max.
but...i also am alive, and that is something that i should be grateful for, especially with the other things going on in the world right now.
l'il dude has been declared unsafe to ride. the frame was taxed in the accident, and it isn't fit to repair. so now i have a totally healthy looking frame that i love, but can't do anything with (other than hang on my wall). well, back to work.
28.12.04
i want to make foam.
i'm watching the world biker build-off on the discovery channel. it's amazing, especially because it's the brits the aussies and the u.s. dudes, and it's so cool. holy snap it's so cool. i think i've found what i want to do in life. ok, maybe not, but i've found some new inspiration. and the foam...they were pouring their own foam for the seat cusion. whoa.
and, some bad news...talking to bike shops, someone suggested that maybe my frame isn't still intact. i actually will like to think otherwise, and i will hold out until the end...hmmm...i want to start riding again. i'm getting antsy. although i did go to a yoga class with my mommykins today, and i realized just how weak my shoulders are compared to the rest of my body.
green pants comes in on friday, and i couldn't be more excited!
the new car (who might already have the nickname of turtle) is now insured, which is excited, and tomorrow it gets properly registered in my name. car and renters insurance is so much less expensive in charlotte...maybe i should just stay here forever. probably not, but it has it's perks.
also, the quilt is coming along well. it's going to be small, but a girl has to start somewhere. it's all from scrap fabric i've collected over the years, some stuff from the rag cabinet in the laundry room, and some cool terrycloth from washcloths. i think that's cool. i have no idea how this will turn out, but if it's like any other vj project, it will have a lot of personality and lots of flaws in craft(wo)manship.
speaking of wo-things...what ever happened to bobby womack?
[now the australian team is painting their bike. holy holy cow, this is amazing. this is amazing, i want to paint things in a paint booth.]
what else...
today my brother left on the beginning of his country-wide journey. off to oakland and lake tahoe for a couple days of r&r and skiing with his girlfriend and her family ("oh, kirk just made shannon's christmas by coming out here. just made her christmas." -my brother's girlfriend's mom), then he flies back here for a football game with dad, and then he and a friend drive from charlotte to miami for the orange bowl, then he drives back here...then he drives back to school. wow, that's lots of moving around.
um, tomorrow, i'm nervous to see if i have to get an entirely new bike or not. hmmm. i'll have anxiety dreams about l'il dude.
i have about 8 gazillion things that i want to do: jade plant fix (i happy to have found little healthy growths that i can replant just incase), quilt, learn to knit, make myself a bag, get back to work, do the books for 2004, [um, hello? it's almost 2005? 2004 is almost over, where did it go?], find the right floral fabric scrap (hopefully on a vintage dishtowel) to stitch onto my favorite, 8-year-old balck skirt that i've painted in one too many times, and read read read!
ok, time for some honey ginseng mint tea and the HUGE fortune cookie i got for christmas.
i'm watching the world biker build-off on the discovery channel. it's amazing, especially because it's the brits the aussies and the u.s. dudes, and it's so cool. holy snap it's so cool. i think i've found what i want to do in life. ok, maybe not, but i've found some new inspiration. and the foam...they were pouring their own foam for the seat cusion. whoa.
and, some bad news...talking to bike shops, someone suggested that maybe my frame isn't still intact. i actually will like to think otherwise, and i will hold out until the end...hmmm...i want to start riding again. i'm getting antsy. although i did go to a yoga class with my mommykins today, and i realized just how weak my shoulders are compared to the rest of my body.
green pants comes in on friday, and i couldn't be more excited!
the new car (who might already have the nickname of turtle) is now insured, which is excited, and tomorrow it gets properly registered in my name. car and renters insurance is so much less expensive in charlotte...maybe i should just stay here forever. probably not, but it has it's perks.
also, the quilt is coming along well. it's going to be small, but a girl has to start somewhere. it's all from scrap fabric i've collected over the years, some stuff from the rag cabinet in the laundry room, and some cool terrycloth from washcloths. i think that's cool. i have no idea how this will turn out, but if it's like any other vj project, it will have a lot of personality and lots of flaws in craft(wo)manship.
speaking of wo-things...what ever happened to bobby womack?
[now the australian team is painting their bike. holy holy cow, this is amazing. this is amazing, i want to paint things in a paint booth.]
what else...
today my brother left on the beginning of his country-wide journey. off to oakland and lake tahoe for a couple days of r&r and skiing with his girlfriend and her family ("oh, kirk just made shannon's christmas by coming out here. just made her christmas." -my brother's girlfriend's mom), then he flies back here for a football game with dad, and then he and a friend drive from charlotte to miami for the orange bowl, then he drives back here...then he drives back to school. wow, that's lots of moving around.
um, tomorrow, i'm nervous to see if i have to get an entirely new bike or not. hmmm. i'll have anxiety dreams about l'il dude.
i have about 8 gazillion things that i want to do: jade plant fix (i happy to have found little healthy growths that i can replant just incase), quilt, learn to knit, make myself a bag, get back to work, do the books for 2004, [um, hello? it's almost 2005? 2004 is almost over, where did it go?], find the right floral fabric scrap (hopefully on a vintage dishtowel) to stitch onto my favorite, 8-year-old balck skirt that i've painted in one too many times, and read read read!
ok, time for some honey ginseng mint tea and the HUGE fortune cookie i got for christmas.
27.12.04
26.12.04
the fun thing about moving is getting to find so much old, memorable stuff. especially if you are a sentimental packrat like me. everything seems to mean something to me, and apparently i keep anything that means something. but usually, that's ok. especially now that i can plop most of my stuff in permanant storage at my parents house. (you'll all be happy to know that the amount of stuff i own is actually shrinking.
in going through my old t-shirts, i found this handmade, iron-on number that i love:
{front}
Just Add Humor
{back}
The Lord Sayeth 'Thou Art Funnier than Mixed Co.' -Larry 4:20
[including a graphic of a thumbs-up with a halo around it]
these shirts were made by our halloween posse during our junior year of college. the jokesters we are, and our desire to run in a herd, made us collaborate to become the new (and only) christian improv group on campus. there's a lot of improv and acapella at yale, (lots!) and we needed to poke a little fun at it. just add water was the christian acappela group. mixed company one of the many acapella groups, and just add humor because maybe the improv groups weren't too funny. it was funny. maybe not to everyone who saw it, but definately to the 6 or so of us who made up just add humor. we had a poorly attended public performance in the middle of campus, as well as a special performance for the college president and a few other nice people who ran the school...although i was the only one who was secretly really excited about actually performing. regardless...it was a good, good time.
in going through my old t-shirts, i found this handmade, iron-on number that i love:
{front}
Just Add Humor
{back}
The Lord Sayeth 'Thou Art Funnier than Mixed Co.' -Larry 4:20
[including a graphic of a thumbs-up with a halo around it]
Established October 31, 2001
these shirts were made by our halloween posse during our junior year of college. the jokesters we are, and our desire to run in a herd, made us collaborate to become the new (and only) christian improv group on campus. there's a lot of improv and acapella at yale, (lots!) and we needed to poke a little fun at it. just add water was the christian acappela group. mixed company one of the many acapella groups, and just add humor because maybe the improv groups weren't too funny. it was funny. maybe not to everyone who saw it, but definately to the 6 or so of us who made up just add humor. we had a poorly attended public performance in the middle of campus, as well as a special performance for the college president and a few other nice people who ran the school...although i was the only one who was secretly really excited about actually performing. regardless...it was a good, good time.
24.12.04
why doesn't anyone ever leave comments?
people used to leave comments, why not now?
i'm feeling fiesty, and i want comments!
so, i'm going to make people comment. comment, please!
my mom just took the dog on a walk, she's standing in the kitchen swinging around a bag of the dog's poop (she is a responsible poop-scooper), "look grandpa," she yelled (he's a bit hard of hearing), "sport picked out the last present for kirk's christmas stocking." -true
my dad and brother just went on a christmas eve beer run. am i related to these people? my brother can out-drink the fish. sure, he's 6'6", but really.
today (on a christmas gift comando mission and looking at a possible replacement for jeepie), i made my dad and grandpa let me out at the discount christian book store. i could hardly contain my embarrassed smile as i walked into the store. i felt like a shy, but curious, high schooler walking into an adult bookstore for the first time. i didn't make eye contact with anyone, i was flushed the whole time, and i nervously touched each book i saw, pretending that i was on some sort of actual mission. "oh, my friend asked me to pick something up" or "i'm looking for something for my friend" were lines i rehearsed in my head, just in case anyone asked. i felt so guiltily out of place. i felt like god could see me, and knew i was gently mocking a herd of his people, a flock of the devoted (who i feel often use his name to propogate fear and closemindedness). anyhow, i was waiting for the thunderbolts to come from the sky. actually, that's not true. i think god has a good sense of humor. anyhow, it was interesting and i got what i came for, but could have stayed all day. my favorite find (although at $7.99 was too expensive to purchase...discount what?) was a book called a celebration of sex for newlyweds, which had fairly graphic sketches and a chapter about "cleanup and hygiene". i digress. i wish i could have spent hours in this place, listening to the conversations of holiday shoppers and reading snippets of different books.
is zero a number?
it takes more than three polish women to figure out how to work an oven.
my dad actually said "ahhh, i was just fixin' to call you." apparently he speaks southern now.
"i never make stupid mistakes, only very, very clever ones." -john peel
people used to leave comments, why not now?
i'm feeling fiesty, and i want comments!
so, i'm going to make people comment. comment, please!
my mom just took the dog on a walk, she's standing in the kitchen swinging around a bag of the dog's poop (she is a responsible poop-scooper), "look grandpa," she yelled (he's a bit hard of hearing), "sport picked out the last present for kirk's christmas stocking." -true
my dad and brother just went on a christmas eve beer run. am i related to these people? my brother can out-drink the fish. sure, he's 6'6", but really.
today (on a christmas gift comando mission and looking at a possible replacement for jeepie), i made my dad and grandpa let me out at the discount christian book store. i could hardly contain my embarrassed smile as i walked into the store. i felt like a shy, but curious, high schooler walking into an adult bookstore for the first time. i didn't make eye contact with anyone, i was flushed the whole time, and i nervously touched each book i saw, pretending that i was on some sort of actual mission. "oh, my friend asked me to pick something up" or "i'm looking for something for my friend" were lines i rehearsed in my head, just in case anyone asked. i felt so guiltily out of place. i felt like god could see me, and knew i was gently mocking a herd of his people, a flock of the devoted (who i feel often use his name to propogate fear and closemindedness). anyhow, i was waiting for the thunderbolts to come from the sky. actually, that's not true. i think god has a good sense of humor. anyhow, it was interesting and i got what i came for, but could have stayed all day. my favorite find (although at $7.99 was too expensive to purchase...discount what?) was a book called a celebration of sex for newlyweds, which had fairly graphic sketches and a chapter about "cleanup and hygiene". i digress. i wish i could have spent hours in this place, listening to the conversations of holiday shoppers and reading snippets of different books.
is zero a number?
it takes more than three polish women to figure out how to work an oven.
my dad actually said "ahhh, i was just fixin' to call you." apparently he speaks southern now.
"i never make stupid mistakes, only very, very clever ones." -john peel
my parents have a huge jade plant that grew happily on our back porch as far back as i can remember. it was just always there. it was huge. it made the move to charlotte, and they forgot to bring it inside when the weather got cold. i noticed it in the sun room, where it now resides, and it looks dead and brown and droopy and really, really unhappy. i asked my mom what happened to it (the cold) and told her how sad i was because it had always been around. she told me it was a gift she and my dad received for there wedding, it's supposed to be a sign of good luck (good fortune?), hmmm. anyhow, i'm hoping i can rescue it, but i have to do some research to see what to do. luckily, there are a few green babies shooting up from the edges of the pot, and maybe i can replant them to keep the good luck alive.
23.12.04
nothing new in this morning edition piece, but bike the vote stayed with nancy and maria in omaha, and it's neat to hear their inspirational voices on the radio.
dishwasher salmon
community supported agriculture
edible knit panties
["if you need your l-string to last longer than a few hours before use, you will need to keep the panties moist" -seriously]
all the above...why i love pgh
(upcoming topics: marriage, say what?!, baby jesus in the manger, dogs & cats, little brothers
community supported agriculture
edible knit panties
["if you need your l-string to last longer than a few hours before use, you will need to keep the panties moist" -seriously]
all the above...why i love pgh
(upcoming topics: marriage, say what?!, baby jesus in the manger, dogs & cats, little brothers
the first things i did when i got home...
was set off the smoke detector. my grandma heated up some spagetti for me, and i put some cookies in the over. the double oven (top and bottom) but because i am such a thoughtful person (a hem), i made sure to preheat the over. it's one of those new electric-type-thingies, and i pressed all the right buttons, and was waiting for it to beep at me to let me know it was preheated. it let me know, alright, in about 5 minutes smoke started pouring out the bottom oven, it smelled like plastic, i opened the oven. it was filled with a cookie sheet, extension cords,
cable jacks, and other electronic stuff. it was melted. great. the smoke detector went off forever. it was loud. who puts stuff like that in the oven?
[sidenote: i was trying to preheat the top oven, and had checked that one out, but somehow managed to turn on the bottom oven. oh well.]
the second thing i did was read my mail, and find out that i'm wanted by the department of homeland security & the tsa. ok, not exactly wanted, but on the list.
see, when a girl packs up the remnants of her car, and then she and her dad try to fly back to boise (she with a one-way ticket) and about 8 carry on items between them, they catch the tsa attention. i didn't think about what i had packed in the carry on bags, just stuffed left-overs from the car into bags. each bag contained at least one pair of scissors. and because i was flagged for having a one-way ticket, all my bags were searched anyhow. so were the ones my dad carried on for me because he said, "well, i don't know what's in them, i'm carrying them on for my daughter." anyhow, scissors are no big deal, and i got to tell them all the story of my last 6 months and at that point i was one the verge of tears.
then they found paddle...
it's a leather covered whacking stick that used to belong to my grandfather who was a (u.s.?) marshall. it had been handed down in our family, and when i headed east, my dad gave it to me to keep in my car. as far back as i can remember it had been kept under the front seat of one of our cars. i never thought i would use it, but it was a nice heirloom to have and might come in handy in case of emergency window breaking, etc. anyhow...it was in my carry on, and it got their attention right away. they made a quiet, big fuss, and finally let me go. no big deal. i handed it over to them, didn't think twice, just wanted to make the plane in time.
i came home to a letter from the department of homeland security and the tsa saying they looked into the claim against me and it was found to be unintentional, but that my name would always be on the list.
ok, ok so that's a totally and completely abbreviated version of what the letter said, but maybe i'm afraid to type what it really says, cause then they'd really try to come get me. regardless, my name is now on the list and i won't ever be able to be in an airport without the secret alarm going off, without having to have my person intimately metal detected, or without having to unpack all my hastilly but well-organized bags. oh snap. oh well.
my brother is making the cat drink beer from a soy sauce dish
i just spilled water all over my mom and the sofa. i think they want to send me back to where ever i came from (where is that?), and they are asking for an encore.
we've decided to spend our christmas eve in a very devoutly catholic manner...taking our six-pack of neurotic family members to see meet the fockers, and then open only one present each.
tomorrow i paddle in the 6 foot lake
i'm glad to not have to drive for a month
kirk: "if i wrote kofi annan a letter, do you think he would read it?"
dad: he's in a lot of trouble right now?
grandma: (grandma noise) oh, kobi, he's in trouble.
was set off the smoke detector. my grandma heated up some spagetti for me, and i put some cookies in the over. the double oven (top and bottom) but because i am such a thoughtful person (a hem), i made sure to preheat the over. it's one of those new electric-type-thingies, and i pressed all the right buttons, and was waiting for it to beep at me to let me know it was preheated. it let me know, alright, in about 5 minutes smoke started pouring out the bottom oven, it smelled like plastic, i opened the oven. it was filled with a cookie sheet, extension cords,
cable jacks, and other electronic stuff. it was melted. great. the smoke detector went off forever. it was loud. who puts stuff like that in the oven?
[sidenote: i was trying to preheat the top oven, and had checked that one out, but somehow managed to turn on the bottom oven. oh well.]
the second thing i did was read my mail, and find out that i'm wanted by the department of homeland security & the tsa. ok, not exactly wanted, but on the list.
see, when a girl packs up the remnants of her car, and then she and her dad try to fly back to boise (she with a one-way ticket) and about 8 carry on items between them, they catch the tsa attention. i didn't think about what i had packed in the carry on bags, just stuffed left-overs from the car into bags. each bag contained at least one pair of scissors. and because i was flagged for having a one-way ticket, all my bags were searched anyhow. so were the ones my dad carried on for me because he said, "well, i don't know what's in them, i'm carrying them on for my daughter." anyhow, scissors are no big deal, and i got to tell them all the story of my last 6 months and at that point i was one the verge of tears.
then they found paddle...
it's a leather covered whacking stick that used to belong to my grandfather who was a (u.s.?) marshall. it had been handed down in our family, and when i headed east, my dad gave it to me to keep in my car. as far back as i can remember it had been kept under the front seat of one of our cars. i never thought i would use it, but it was a nice heirloom to have and might come in handy in case of emergency window breaking, etc. anyhow...it was in my carry on, and it got their attention right away. they made a quiet, big fuss, and finally let me go. no big deal. i handed it over to them, didn't think twice, just wanted to make the plane in time.
i came home to a letter from the department of homeland security and the tsa saying they looked into the claim against me and it was found to be unintentional, but that my name would always be on the list.
ok, ok so that's a totally and completely abbreviated version of what the letter said, but maybe i'm afraid to type what it really says, cause then they'd really try to come get me. regardless, my name is now on the list and i won't ever be able to be in an airport without the secret alarm going off, without having to have my person intimately metal detected, or without having to unpack all my hastilly but well-organized bags. oh snap. oh well.
my brother is making the cat drink beer from a soy sauce dish
i just spilled water all over my mom and the sofa. i think they want to send me back to where ever i came from (where is that?), and they are asking for an encore.
we've decided to spend our christmas eve in a very devoutly catholic manner...taking our six-pack of neurotic family members to see meet the fockers, and then open only one present each.
tomorrow i paddle in the 6 foot lake
i'm glad to not have to drive for a month
kirk: "if i wrote kofi annan a letter, do you think he would read it?"
dad: he's in a lot of trouble right now?
grandma: (grandma noise) oh, kobi, he's in trouble.
20.12.04
it snowed last night = amazingly beautiful
lanna and friend and i went and ice skated in the street
16 degrees = cold!
moving in 16 degrees = fun
hot tea and oatmeal cookies = good remedy for cold
16 degrees = too cold to walk east rock and mill river (driving was warmer)
modern pizza = delicious = things i love about new haven
partially hydrogenated soybean oil = scary = frighteningly fun conversations last night
pgh = happy
lanna and friend and i went and ice skated in the street
16 degrees = cold!
moving in 16 degrees = fun
hot tea and oatmeal cookies = good remedy for cold
16 degrees = too cold to walk east rock and mill river (driving was warmer)
modern pizza = delicious = things i love about new haven
partially hydrogenated soybean oil = scary = frighteningly fun conversations last night
pgh = happy
19.12.04
about a gazillion things i want to write right now, but the only one i can get out is:
i'm tired.
i'm looking forward to weekends and evenings that don't involve carting around the ever-decreasing bundles of items i own, repacking boxes, finding mold, carrying the same heavy table up and down stairs, you get my point. i will, however, miss jumping in and out of the back of (my) pick-up truck. i can't wait for cooking big meals and reading and listening to npr while drinking tea and riding l'il dude and paddling and hiking and camping and taking myself of miscevious adventures after dark to learn about portland.
today i went to pick up the the true love of my life, the kayak (who, oddly enough, is still name-less), from branford and got to see joan and patrick in the process. they were kind enough to let it take up space in their yard for the months i was gone from new haven. when i pulled up to their house today my red, waterbound mode of transportation was resting on their front lawn and i was instantly giddy with excitement and happiness (and i wanted to walk it down to the beautiful branford shoreline and paddle right there, but it was cold and i am gear-less, sniff). but it was just so nice to feel her plastic-ness while lifting her back up onto the car, strapping her in, and then driving driving driving back to new haven. i got even happier when i realized this means i will get to paddle in charlotte (ok, not in the city, but in the nearby lakes) which made me laugh out loud with joy thinking about less than 7 days until paddling. whoa.
i like having toys that allow me to progress down the road of complete hermit-like nature.
i also took myself out for breakfast at the pantry, where eating alone at the counter is my favorite sunday morning sport. (i am in love with sunday morning culture.) so many people to watch. so many ex-roommates on breakfast dates to spy on, and the friendliest restraunt owners/familiar faces (not to mention the best scrambled egg-toast-homefries-bacon medley in the world). these moments of quiet contentment in new haven make me long to settle down for a while (on the horizon, but still far away feeling) and also make me (already) miss new haven in a way i didn't this summer. i like to be optimistic and believe it just makes me appreciate the city more, and able to keep the memories closer to me when i'm not here! tomorrow i'm going to walk the mill river and hike to the top of east rock for the last time. saudade.
the good part about packing and re-packing my life means i get to re-find all the trinkets that remind me of so many happy and sad and meaningful moments of the past. i found the letter the spring break vermont road trip crew of '01 wrote to the nice folks at ben & jerry's recommending some new flavors. i want to print it here, some other time. i saw pictures of 785 which brought back a feeling of home and community and being settled (and bad, dark, brown and orange interiors). graduation pictures, old prints, my paperclip collection, the glossy brochure highlighting the great living features of the house i grew up in, sally: the best dog ever, my collection of inspirational books, and the crazy feeling i get every time i move and feel the need to take with me: 50 wooden clothespins, mason jars, sea shells, un-postmarked stamps salvaged from letters i have received, the pre-established collection of birthday and greeting cards i couldn't resist but haven't found the perfect occassion for, 18 serving spoons, the growing collection of 1970's pyrex kitchenware, piles of quotes torn from pages and letters and posters and advertisements. the quote below is my favorite. i received it in an e-mail when i was 15, and it instantly propelled me to dream of adventures i knew i wanted to take in the future. i find it occassionally (usually when moving) and smile warmly as i think just how much bigger my backyard has become each time i read it:
"for once, go too far;
till home is 4 hills, 2 mountains and a nice oak forest away.
till the shoreline is a tiny row of fuzzy peaks.
till the ground is way way way the hell down there.
you won't be stuck, your body is good for this sort of thing.
let it climb, paddle, break into a jog, get into a rhythm
and while it's at it, yodel.
fear will give way to wonder,
and the next time you reach that point,
you can look back and say to yourself:
hell, i'm barely out of the backyard."
(author unknown)
i'm tired.
i'm looking forward to weekends and evenings that don't involve carting around the ever-decreasing bundles of items i own, repacking boxes, finding mold, carrying the same heavy table up and down stairs, you get my point. i will, however, miss jumping in and out of the back of (my) pick-up truck. i can't wait for cooking big meals and reading and listening to npr while drinking tea and riding l'il dude and paddling and hiking and camping and taking myself of miscevious adventures after dark to learn about portland.
today i went to pick up the the true love of my life, the kayak (who, oddly enough, is still name-less), from branford and got to see joan and patrick in the process. they were kind enough to let it take up space in their yard for the months i was gone from new haven. when i pulled up to their house today my red, waterbound mode of transportation was resting on their front lawn and i was instantly giddy with excitement and happiness (and i wanted to walk it down to the beautiful branford shoreline and paddle right there, but it was cold and i am gear-less, sniff). but it was just so nice to feel her plastic-ness while lifting her back up onto the car, strapping her in, and then driving driving driving back to new haven. i got even happier when i realized this means i will get to paddle in charlotte (ok, not in the city, but in the nearby lakes) which made me laugh out loud with joy thinking about less than 7 days until paddling. whoa.
i like having toys that allow me to progress down the road of complete hermit-like nature.
i also took myself out for breakfast at the pantry, where eating alone at the counter is my favorite sunday morning sport. (i am in love with sunday morning culture.) so many people to watch. so many ex-roommates on breakfast dates to spy on, and the friendliest restraunt owners/familiar faces (not to mention the best scrambled egg-toast-homefries-bacon medley in the world). these moments of quiet contentment in new haven make me long to settle down for a while (on the horizon, but still far away feeling) and also make me (already) miss new haven in a way i didn't this summer. i like to be optimistic and believe it just makes me appreciate the city more, and able to keep the memories closer to me when i'm not here! tomorrow i'm going to walk the mill river and hike to the top of east rock for the last time. saudade.
the good part about packing and re-packing my life means i get to re-find all the trinkets that remind me of so many happy and sad and meaningful moments of the past. i found the letter the spring break vermont road trip crew of '01 wrote to the nice folks at ben & jerry's recommending some new flavors. i want to print it here, some other time. i saw pictures of 785 which brought back a feeling of home and community and being settled (and bad, dark, brown and orange interiors). graduation pictures, old prints, my paperclip collection, the glossy brochure highlighting the great living features of the house i grew up in, sally: the best dog ever, my collection of inspirational books, and the crazy feeling i get every time i move and feel the need to take with me: 50 wooden clothespins, mason jars, sea shells, un-postmarked stamps salvaged from letters i have received, the pre-established collection of birthday and greeting cards i couldn't resist but haven't found the perfect occassion for, 18 serving spoons, the growing collection of 1970's pyrex kitchenware, piles of quotes torn from pages and letters and posters and advertisements. the quote below is my favorite. i received it in an e-mail when i was 15, and it instantly propelled me to dream of adventures i knew i wanted to take in the future. i find it occassionally (usually when moving) and smile warmly as i think just how much bigger my backyard has become each time i read it:
"for once, go too far;
till home is 4 hills, 2 mountains and a nice oak forest away.
till the shoreline is a tiny row of fuzzy peaks.
till the ground is way way way the hell down there.
you won't be stuck, your body is good for this sort of thing.
let it climb, paddle, break into a jog, get into a rhythm
and while it's at it, yodel.
fear will give way to wonder,
and the next time you reach that point,
you can look back and say to yourself:
hell, i'm barely out of the backyard."
(author unknown)
18.12.04
taking a 2.5 hour nap starting at 5.30pm and having a sugar dinner of cookies, brownies, gum drops, and cheese with a dessert of spagetti squash is not a good way to go to bed early. but that's ok. i would have been fine had i not been wholly distracted by this computer. darn these computers, i just love 'em.
well, where to start. it's been another great day. i got to jump in and out of the bed of the pick-up (1 point of automatic happines), drive to old saybrook to buy rack parts (sound dirty), be a part of a reading of a child's christmas in wales (i think, more or less, that is what it's called), see people i haven't seen in a looooong time (and then say goodbye again), see lanna in her overjoyed excitement (fingers crossed), drive to east rock (beautiful on a clear night) and drink plum tea and play on the computer. yes ladies and gents, this gal leads a rockstar life.
i've come to the realization that the past 6+ months of my life contained more socializing and socialness than i regularly do in 2 years combined, plus it was all without any real alone time...therefore i've decided i am going to become a hermit. well, i already decided that back in 1999, but now i am sinfully, selfishly and delightfully going to follow through with that.
also, i sent the last existing vanessa jean holiday order out today and it feels so great to be on top of things. yay for me and yay for persistant days of actually doing lots of work and getting things done. this means a few things...
1) your orders are welcome at vanessa jean dot com. orders placed until 6pm december 20th will be delivered to you or your lucky gift recipient by christmas (if that is your holiday and that date happens to be important to you)...so, if you are still in need of some last minute gifts for people who have you stumped or people you feel obligated to buy gifts for but don't really care what you get them and don't want to leave your house...just click here to go to the site and see what your options are. (note: the dana and mini dana are no longer available for christmas delivery). so, i hope that can solve some problems and (to be quite honest) i would love any extra business right now!)
2) being ahead of the ball means that i get to fiddle with duct tape and make
a) some super creative gifts for people
b) a new bag for myself. i'm really excited because i haven't indulged like this in a long time. it's going to be a julia style messenger back with camel, avocado, orange and silver stripes and i am going to employ the power of the new clear duct tape to include my collection of fortune cookie fortunes i have collected this summer. and the strap might even include some webbing and a seat belt buckle (but i'm not super sure about that yet). regardless, i am quite excited and i will post pictures when it's done.
it's so late and i've broken all my rules about getting good sleep tonight. but it's friday, why not live large.
well, where to start. it's been another great day. i got to jump in and out of the bed of the pick-up (1 point of automatic happines), drive to old saybrook to buy rack parts (sound dirty), be a part of a reading of a child's christmas in wales (i think, more or less, that is what it's called), see people i haven't seen in a looooong time (and then say goodbye again), see lanna in her overjoyed excitement (fingers crossed), drive to east rock (beautiful on a clear night) and drink plum tea and play on the computer. yes ladies and gents, this gal leads a rockstar life.
i've come to the realization that the past 6+ months of my life contained more socializing and socialness than i regularly do in 2 years combined, plus it was all without any real alone time...therefore i've decided i am going to become a hermit. well, i already decided that back in 1999, but now i am sinfully, selfishly and delightfully going to follow through with that.
also, i sent the last existing vanessa jean holiday order out today and it feels so great to be on top of things. yay for me and yay for persistant days of actually doing lots of work and getting things done. this means a few things...
1) your orders are welcome at vanessa jean dot com. orders placed until 6pm december 20th will be delivered to you or your lucky gift recipient by christmas (if that is your holiday and that date happens to be important to you)...so, if you are still in need of some last minute gifts for people who have you stumped or people you feel obligated to buy gifts for but don't really care what you get them and don't want to leave your house...just click here to go to the site and see what your options are. (note: the dana and mini dana are no longer available for christmas delivery). so, i hope that can solve some problems and (to be quite honest) i would love any extra business right now!)
2) being ahead of the ball means that i get to fiddle with duct tape and make
a) some super creative gifts for people
b) a new bag for myself. i'm really excited because i haven't indulged like this in a long time. it's going to be a julia style messenger back with camel, avocado, orange and silver stripes and i am going to employ the power of the new clear duct tape to include my collection of fortune cookie fortunes i have collected this summer. and the strap might even include some webbing and a seat belt buckle (but i'm not super sure about that yet). regardless, i am quite excited and i will post pictures when it's done.
it's so late and i've broken all my rules about getting good sleep tonight. but it's friday, why not live large.
15.12.04
so much to say. so little time, and so little privacy from the library. this library is the new haven free public library, and i think this is the most time i have ever spent in it in my six years living in this city (except for artspot! and a duct tape workshop). blah blah blah.
i managed (with the help of the nice people at enterprise and having rental on my auto policy) to get myself back to new haven, the grand (and freeeezing cold) elm city just in time to dive into vanessa jean for the christmas season. it felt so so so so so good to be working with my hands again. so good. it was just like riding a bike (ha!) how it all came back to me so fast. tearing tape, laying tape, using my tools, how i missed it all! i even liked the fact that my back hurt the same way at the end of the day. it's so funny how it's so half-familiar working in a new space that isn't that new. i'm at lanna's new house (she's the old 785 roomie) and working on the same sofa i used to, with the same pillows, just in a new space. my rug on the floor, so familiar, but not the same. the best was when the phone rang (i didn't answer it because i am afraid of phones) and the answering machine picked up with my voice and our old message from our old house. a bizarre throwback indeed! (i changed it for them, so now people don't think they are crazy when the answering machine says a different number than what they dialed. enough).
working feels good, as does seeing old friends. just lounging and eating and talking about the craziness of the last 6 months. wow. it feels so good to be back in with the psych kids, and lunch with steve, and ally's new apartment, and peek peek and suzanne. cheers to wonderful people and how they make life what it is (which is good).
oatmeal (even maple oatmeal) is icky without added sugar. i'm going to force myself to like soy yogurt (cultured soy product!) because it doesn't upset my stomach like dairy yogurt. last night i had the most deliciously brilliant avocado for dinner (and i get to enjoy it again tonight!). one day my life will include laquered plywood floors (no joke), and a balcony with lots of plants in the summer and cozy chairs with warm blankets for watching stars on cold, clear nights. reading books is fun again, and that makes me relaxed just to think about.
if you're reading this before 12/19, it's not too late to order from vanessa jean for holiday delivery (aka christmas), in fact...it's welcomed!
so much to look forward to this week, next week and for the rest of my life. this week is so full of seeing friends and happily working and relaxing. maybe some car searching this weekend. definately moving and packing up my life from the 4 locations in and around new haven where it has been stored for the past 6 months. i'm so excited! (downsizing is fun!). then to charlotte where i get to fix my bike (bike destruction has the benefit of bike reconstruction and all the greasy dirtyness involved in learning more about bikes and how to fix/build them). and green pants will be in charlotte for new years, and who can believe it's almost 2005 already? holy snap.
well, it feels just like the old days...i spend all day alone working and then ramble myself hoarse (ha!) to my imaginary online friends. time to get back to work, yeee haw!
cheers
i managed (with the help of the nice people at enterprise and having rental on my auto policy) to get myself back to new haven, the grand (and freeeezing cold) elm city just in time to dive into vanessa jean for the christmas season. it felt so so so so so good to be working with my hands again. so good. it was just like riding a bike (ha!) how it all came back to me so fast. tearing tape, laying tape, using my tools, how i missed it all! i even liked the fact that my back hurt the same way at the end of the day. it's so funny how it's so half-familiar working in a new space that isn't that new. i'm at lanna's new house (she's the old 785 roomie) and working on the same sofa i used to, with the same pillows, just in a new space. my rug on the floor, so familiar, but not the same. the best was when the phone rang (i didn't answer it because i am afraid of phones) and the answering machine picked up with my voice and our old message from our old house. a bizarre throwback indeed! (i changed it for them, so now people don't think they are crazy when the answering machine says a different number than what they dialed. enough).
working feels good, as does seeing old friends. just lounging and eating and talking about the craziness of the last 6 months. wow. it feels so good to be back in with the psych kids, and lunch with steve, and ally's new apartment, and peek peek and suzanne. cheers to wonderful people and how they make life what it is (which is good).
oatmeal (even maple oatmeal) is icky without added sugar. i'm going to force myself to like soy yogurt (cultured soy product!) because it doesn't upset my stomach like dairy yogurt. last night i had the most deliciously brilliant avocado for dinner (and i get to enjoy it again tonight!). one day my life will include laquered plywood floors (no joke), and a balcony with lots of plants in the summer and cozy chairs with warm blankets for watching stars on cold, clear nights. reading books is fun again, and that makes me relaxed just to think about.
if you're reading this before 12/19, it's not too late to order from vanessa jean for holiday delivery (aka christmas), in fact...it's welcomed!
so much to look forward to this week, next week and for the rest of my life. this week is so full of seeing friends and happily working and relaxing. maybe some car searching this weekend. definately moving and packing up my life from the 4 locations in and around new haven where it has been stored for the past 6 months. i'm so excited! (downsizing is fun!). then to charlotte where i get to fix my bike (bike destruction has the benefit of bike reconstruction and all the greasy dirtyness involved in learning more about bikes and how to fix/build them). and green pants will be in charlotte for new years, and who can believe it's almost 2005 already? holy snap.
well, it feels just like the old days...i spend all day alone working and then ramble myself hoarse (ha!) to my imaginary online friends. time to get back to work, yeee haw!
cheers
10.12.04
computers hate me.
no doubt about it. as i am in the continual search for the resume, i took my old disks to the local library in charlotte to see if maybe le copy of resume i want is on there. (not really sure why i need one at this point, but i just think i would feel more comfortable if i had one, regardless...) i had to fill out a library card application, then find a computer. i got through 2 disks (it was fun to read old portuguese and linguistics papers) and the 3rd disk got stuck in the computer. i asked for help, a scene was made, i was embarrassed and wanted to hide. the kind librarian fished it out of the computer, but then the drive wouldn't work. so i switched computers, and now all of my floppies freeze word and i feel like an idiot. upside, today i took my old laptop in to see if it could be fixed/items recovered. i have a gazillion pictures on there and i can't wait to see them.
-i forget charlotte is the south until i get here.
-my dad's truck has a w '04 sticker on the back (vomit) which is soon to be (unknowingly) accompanied by a john kerry sticker.
-the dog (el sporto) is actually well behaved, and the cats are kinda smelly and lethargic, but still cute.
no doubt about it. as i am in the continual search for the resume, i took my old disks to the local library in charlotte to see if maybe le copy of resume i want is on there. (not really sure why i need one at this point, but i just think i would feel more comfortable if i had one, regardless...) i had to fill out a library card application, then find a computer. i got through 2 disks (it was fun to read old portuguese and linguistics papers) and the 3rd disk got stuck in the computer. i asked for help, a scene was made, i was embarrassed and wanted to hide. the kind librarian fished it out of the computer, but then the drive wouldn't work. so i switched computers, and now all of my floppies freeze word and i feel like an idiot. upside, today i took my old laptop in to see if it could be fixed/items recovered. i have a gazillion pictures on there and i can't wait to see them.
-i forget charlotte is the south until i get here.
-my dad's truck has a w '04 sticker on the back (vomit) which is soon to be (unknowingly) accompanied by a john kerry sticker.
-the dog (el sporto) is actually well behaved, and the cats are kinda smelly and lethargic, but still cute.
good things that aren't related to intense drama...
-today i get to talk to darcyface, yay.
-vector diablo: new blog on the roll (and ireally like it)
-i'm thrilled about putting my bike back together and learning a lot in the process
-good reads: bicycle magazine, current edition bike & sex special
-i'm reunited with mr. bun buns and balloon blanky
-starting to play with duct tape in about 100 hours (i'm in serious withdrawl)
-daydreaming about firing up vanessa jean again
-daydreaming about space
-sleep
cheers
-today i get to talk to darcyface, yay.
-vector diablo: new blog on the roll (and i
-i'm thrilled about putting my bike back together and learning a lot in the process
-good reads: bicycle magazine, current edition bike & sex special
-i'm reunited with mr. bun buns and balloon blanky
-starting to play with duct tape in about 100 hours (i'm in serious withdrawl)
-daydreaming about firing up vanessa jean again
-daydreaming about space
-sleep
cheers
i had written an incredibly large text for what i am about to say on a plane earier today, but now i am in charlotte, nc & too tired to edit any of it.
here's the basic run-down.
i'm grateful to be alive & more thrilled than ever to have the amazing opportunities that i do in my life. after an amazing long weekend in portland, i hit the eastbound road tuesday morning on the final journey back to new haven (which wasn't going to be that final, but we'll talk about that later). anyhow, driving on icy roads that night, i skidded and lost control of jeepie, and tumbled off the side of the road and rolled the car. i'm the luckiest girl (still) alive and suffered absolutely no injuries whatsoever, i still don't know how i happened to remain unharmed or who i need to thank. jeepie didn't do so well, and sacrificed it's life in saving me, taking some serious blows which i am glad i didn't have to suffer. i only started to cry when i saw my bike lying in the snow with a broken fork. now jeepie has been put to rest in a junkyard in burley, idaho (where i spent the last two nights) and i feel like i have lost a steady companion (sniff), adventure partner, as well as the niche for all the crying and making out i did in my youth. my knight-in-shining-armor dad flew out wednesday. leaving out details the non-existent readers of this blog won't mind, i packed all my belongings and between the two of us we flew with them to charlotte. l'il dude was boxed up and shipped back to charlotte. someone needs to remember to ask me how much fun it is to fly with a suspicious one-way ticket and 8 attempted carry-on bags. (sarcasm.)
anyhow, i'm done being shaken and ready to move on with life (which in this case means holding still for at least a year), but now i can't wait for that to start. i think the joy of being on the road is kaput, it only took #172 days (but i will rethink that when i get to new haven on monday and get to start working again). anyhow, i don't think i have experienced such an extreme high and low as i did tuesday, and if you're still interested in this blabbering, i've extracted some poorly written narrative of my pre-accident joy for your lack-of-enjoyment below. (i have no idea why i am so dismissive and negative right now, hopefully just tired!)
tuesday was a great day, that started out with more a greater than average amount of potential. it was day #170 of the rest of my life (the rest of my life starting june 20 when bike the vote headed out of new haven, and when i started counting the days of seeing life in a new way) and i was overflowing with possibility and excitement. i spent the early morning hours running errands in the damp city of portland, and relishing a [really] magnificent long weekend of sushi, bike riding, hiking, anthropologie inspiration, salmon, talking, re-experiencing and remembering how much i like portland, trying on overalls, walking with friends to the park, and getting to know new friends even better (yes, you know exactly who you are). but the most important was gaining a deeper sense of where i want to be going, and exactly what i am going to do next to make my life as wonderful and happy as possible in all imaginable ways (duct taping, not overworking, yoga, cycling, making furniture, working with a new space, having a home, relaxing (gasp!), and salivating over all the opportunities in front of me: creating, working with wood, paddling, cycling, organizing). i drove out of portland, new music playing on jeepie’s stereo, filled with an amazing exuberance about life, and finally a plan (or at least the most important pieces of it) and the confidence and joy to enact it.. and with that i started the first day in my cross country trip, headed east on I-84.
i drove and drove and drove and was making incredible time, felt alert and in an excellent mood. i received serendipitous phone calls from back east about organizing in new haven, excitedly jabbered with my dad about my excitement for the future (and he laughed at my (higher than usual, but always typical) excitement, and i made ‘happy birthday’ calls. i let the columbia river gorge relax me into fantasies of all the ways i want to come back to explore it (by kayak, by foot, by bike). i saw three peaceful deer when i got off the freeway to get gas. i enjoyed the change of scenery as i gained altitude in eastern Oregon, and saw the first snow of the trip. i entered idaho, and laughed at how 5 hours in jeepie accomplished the same as about 2 weeks of biking. i lost my breath as I came over a summit and saw the sawtooth mountains in front of me in full, snow dusted, sun bathed glory. i smiled and hopped joyfully to my new, happy music. i was content to be moving along and so full of joy I could not stop smiling my goofy, happy smile. i passed boise, and thought of the 3 drives to and from that great city this summer, and the alone time it supplied, and how different i am now... it got dark and i stopped for gas in twin falls, and talked to jessie on the phone in the parking lot, and how good it felt to chat. i kept heading east, and called my aunt and uncle when i passed hansen, idaho. i kept driving. despite the clear sky, the roads were now covered with a residual layer of driven-through slush, and i noticed that the thermometer quickly dropped 7 degrees to read 26 degrees, way below freezing. I was starting to think it was time to stop for the night, getting anxious about icy roads.
then it happened, the way these things happen, in oddly slow, over-aware, motion. jeepie started to skid on ice, i lost control, the car skidded to the right, out of the lane, into the shoulder, off the road, into an embankment, snow splashed onto the front windshield, and i was in the middle of the loudest and most powerful sound i ever heard as jeepie nose-dived into the embankment, rolled, and finally landed, wheels on the ground. i couldn't believe i'd stopped moving. i wan't bleeding and i could still breathe. the door wouldn't open, so i scooted out through the broken window. absolute quiet and black on the snowy idaho roadside.
here's the basic run-down.
i'm grateful to be alive & more thrilled than ever to have the amazing opportunities that i do in my life. after an amazing long weekend in portland, i hit the eastbound road tuesday morning on the final journey back to new haven (which wasn't going to be that final, but we'll talk about that later). anyhow, driving on icy roads that night, i skidded and lost control of jeepie, and tumbled off the side of the road and rolled the car. i'm the luckiest girl (still) alive and suffered absolutely no injuries whatsoever, i still don't know how i happened to remain unharmed or who i need to thank. jeepie didn't do so well, and sacrificed it's life in saving me, taking some serious blows which i am glad i didn't have to suffer. i only started to cry when i saw my bike lying in the snow with a broken fork. now jeepie has been put to rest in a junkyard in burley, idaho (where i spent the last two nights) and i feel like i have lost a steady companion (sniff), adventure partner, as well as the niche for all the crying and making out i did in my youth. my knight-in-shining-armor dad flew out wednesday. leaving out details the non-existent readers of this blog won't mind, i packed all my belongings and between the two of us we flew with them to charlotte. l'il dude was boxed up and shipped back to charlotte. someone needs to remember to ask me how much fun it is to fly with a suspicious one-way ticket and 8 attempted carry-on bags. (sarcasm.)
anyhow, i'm done being shaken and ready to move on with life (which in this case means holding still for at least a year), but now i can't wait for that to start. i think the joy of being on the road is kaput, it only took #172 days (but i will rethink that when i get to new haven on monday and get to start working again). anyhow, i don't think i have experienced such an extreme high and low as i did tuesday, and if you're still interested in this blabbering, i've extracted some poorly written narrative of my pre-accident joy for your lack-of-enjoyment below. (i have no idea why i am so dismissive and negative right now, hopefully just tired!)
tuesday was a great day, that started out with more a greater than average amount of potential. it was day #170 of the rest of my life (the rest of my life starting june 20 when bike the vote headed out of new haven, and when i started counting the days of seeing life in a new way) and i was overflowing with possibility and excitement. i spent the early morning hours running errands in the damp city of portland, and relishing a [really] magnificent long weekend of sushi, bike riding, hiking, anthropologie inspiration, salmon, talking, re-experiencing and remembering how much i like portland, trying on overalls, walking with friends to the park, and getting to know new friends even better (yes, you know exactly who you are). but the most important was gaining a deeper sense of where i want to be going, and exactly what i am going to do next to make my life as wonderful and happy as possible in all imaginable ways (duct taping, not overworking, yoga, cycling, making furniture, working with a new space, having a home, relaxing (gasp!), and salivating over all the opportunities in front of me: creating, working with wood, paddling, cycling, organizing). i drove out of portland, new music playing on jeepie’s stereo, filled with an amazing exuberance about life, and finally a plan (or at least the most important pieces of it) and the confidence and joy to enact it.. and with that i started the first day in my cross country trip, headed east on I-84.
i drove and drove and drove and was making incredible time, felt alert and in an excellent mood. i received serendipitous phone calls from back east about organizing in new haven, excitedly jabbered with my dad about my excitement for the future (and he laughed at my (higher than usual, but always typical) excitement, and i made ‘happy birthday’ calls. i let the columbia river gorge relax me into fantasies of all the ways i want to come back to explore it (by kayak, by foot, by bike). i saw three peaceful deer when i got off the freeway to get gas. i enjoyed the change of scenery as i gained altitude in eastern Oregon, and saw the first snow of the trip. i entered idaho, and laughed at how 5 hours in jeepie accomplished the same as about 2 weeks of biking. i lost my breath as I came over a summit and saw the sawtooth mountains in front of me in full, snow dusted, sun bathed glory. i smiled and hopped joyfully to my new, happy music. i was content to be moving along and so full of joy I could not stop smiling my goofy, happy smile. i passed boise, and thought of the 3 drives to and from that great city this summer, and the alone time it supplied, and how different i am now... it got dark and i stopped for gas in twin falls, and talked to jessie on the phone in the parking lot, and how good it felt to chat. i kept heading east, and called my aunt and uncle when i passed hansen, idaho. i kept driving. despite the clear sky, the roads were now covered with a residual layer of driven-through slush, and i noticed that the thermometer quickly dropped 7 degrees to read 26 degrees, way below freezing. I was starting to think it was time to stop for the night, getting anxious about icy roads.
then it happened, the way these things happen, in oddly slow, over-aware, motion. jeepie started to skid on ice, i lost control, the car skidded to the right, out of the lane, into the shoulder, off the road, into an embankment, snow splashed onto the front windshield, and i was in the middle of the loudest and most powerful sound i ever heard as jeepie nose-dived into the embankment, rolled, and finally landed, wheels on the ground. i couldn't believe i'd stopped moving. i wan't bleeding and i could still breathe. the door wouldn't open, so i scooted out through the broken window. absolute quiet and black on the snowy idaho roadside.
6.12.04
not too many words to say right now.
eating prunes in bed is a luxury, as are hot showers and sleeping in.
i love the life on the road, and all the wonderful treats it affords,
and how i get to be so lucky to have so many amazing people and experiences in my life.
tomorrow the journey eastbound continues. i'm looking forward to seeing the brilliant faces i miss so much in the north east, but leaving ain't easy either.
cheers
eating prunes in bed is a luxury, as are hot showers and sleeping in.
i love the life on the road, and all the wonderful treats it affords,
and how i get to be so lucky to have so many amazing people and experiences in my life.
tomorrow the journey eastbound continues. i'm looking forward to seeing the brilliant faces i miss so much in the north east, but leaving ain't easy either.
cheers
3.12.04
who likes portland?
i do!
who (apparently) likes opening her blog with silly questions about the things she likes?
i do!
day 3 of traveling (well, technically i'm past day #160-something, but this is day 3 of the trip back to the coast in the east) and i couldn't be happier. i forgot how much i like portland, until i drove up the 5 and the beautiful city spread out before me in all of its foggy wonder. and at that, i was overcome with emotions of all sorts, mostly the over-tense and over-emotional highs and lows of the campaign, all the worries about things to get done, all the frustrations with people who don't believe in marriage equality, and don't want to for that matter, and the elation that comes from being surrounded by people who support the same things you do and are working to make the world a better place.
i also pulled off a terrifically surprising surprise (that wasn't even alluded to in this blog as recipient of surprise (ok, it was a selfish surprise too) was potential reader of blog, and now confirmed reader of blog. cheers to myself for covering every aspect of secrecy.) that in the process has made me terrifically ecstatic. (i am so selfish!). let's just say there's a certain mystery girl in portland who was worth a 15 hour drive in the wrong direction (well, if going to the northeast, it seemed perfectly reasonable to go to the north, then the east) in order to visit for the weekend. cheers to that! a trip to portland also has the wonderful benefits of seeing sara in berkeley and the loads of other people i know in portland. and (as jealous as it would make ally in new haven) i'm about to go kick the soccer ball with some of them.
la la la
it's wonderful to have blissful moments of pure joy and happiness and freedom from worry.
i'm also nearing the end of the corrections which is finally good. the first half is ok, and kept me reading only to find out where all this crazy entanglement of characters would go, and it worked because i am still reading, and now i love it. maybe that's just because there are lesbians in the book, but i am sure it would still be good without them. the book suddenly morphed into a page turner, and it's hard to put down.
and, green pants/aca9 is coming to charlotte for new years. this is an exciting development in life. i haven't seen green pants in over a year (nevermind that i will see her in wegman-town in a few days), but it also means that new years will (for once!) be pleasurable.
enough blabbering (which i would love to write as bloggering, and create a new word that will immediately enter our lexicon and become wildly popular, much like al franken's "kidding on the square" from lying liars [which i quite like, to be honest], but none of which will actually happen). ramble over.
off for kicking of soccer ball (fun!), pork shoulder (being a porkatarian is great!), garden state (can i do it without crying this time?) and exclamation marks (!).
cheers
i do!
who (apparently) likes opening her blog with silly questions about the things she likes?
i do!
day 3 of traveling (well, technically i'm past day #160-something, but this is day 3 of the trip back to the coast in the east) and i couldn't be happier. i forgot how much i like portland, until i drove up the 5 and the beautiful city spread out before me in all of its foggy wonder. and at that, i was overcome with emotions of all sorts, mostly the over-tense and over-emotional highs and lows of the campaign, all the worries about things to get done, all the frustrations with people who don't believe in marriage equality, and don't want to for that matter, and the elation that comes from being surrounded by people who support the same things you do and are working to make the world a better place.
i also pulled off a terrifically surprising surprise (that wasn't even alluded to in this blog as recipient of surprise (ok, it was a selfish surprise too) was potential reader of blog, and now confirmed reader of blog. cheers to myself for covering every aspect of secrecy.) that in the process has made me terrifically ecstatic. (i am so selfish!). let's just say there's a certain mystery girl in portland who was worth a 15 hour drive in the wrong direction (well, if going to the northeast, it seemed perfectly reasonable to go to the north, then the east) in order to visit for the weekend. cheers to that! a trip to portland also has the wonderful benefits of seeing sara in berkeley and the loads of other people i know in portland. and (as jealous as it would make ally in new haven) i'm about to go kick the soccer ball with some of them.
la la la
it's wonderful to have blissful moments of pure joy and happiness and freedom from worry.
i'm also nearing the end of the corrections which is finally good. the first half is ok, and kept me reading only to find out where all this crazy entanglement of characters would go, and it worked because i am still reading, and now i love it. maybe that's just because there are lesbians in the book, but i am sure it would still be good without them. the book suddenly morphed into a page turner, and it's hard to put down.
and, green pants/aca9 is coming to charlotte for new years. this is an exciting development in life. i haven't seen green pants in over a year (nevermind that i will see her in wegman-town in a few days), but it also means that new years will (for once!) be pleasurable.
enough blabbering (which i would love to write as bloggering, and create a new word that will immediately enter our lexicon and become wildly popular, much like al franken's "kidding on the square" from lying liars [which i quite like, to be honest], but none of which will actually happen). ramble over.
off for kicking of soccer ball (fun!), pork shoulder (being a porkatarian is great!), garden state (can i do it without crying this time?) and exclamation marks (!).
cheers
1.12.04
who likes driving?
i do!
who likes smelly cows?
i do!
who likes driving around looking for wireless internet?
i do!
who likes the thought of hanging out with friends behind the bail bonds store and eating thai food?
i do! i do!
day 1:
location: undisclosed. miles 350-something. mileage, still good.
i'm a bit worried (as i should be after sacrificing my first child, ok, some martha stewart stock, in order to pay to fix my car and give it new brakes, rotors, shocks, bearings, axle, fuel flush, etc etc) because jeepie is leakign something (still) and my mom was right when she said it smelled like gas. so i am going to do the responsible thing (like i always do) and ignore it and hope it goes away).
i'm also in a tizzy because i don't seem to have a copy of a resume anywhere. the last hard copy i had is in the files of my old employer, and the last not-so-hard-copy is on a computer (in north carolina) that refuses to do anything. and i might have a copy on disk, which also resides in north caroline in a house that does not have a computer that accepts disks. it's all my fault, and i'm crying. well, not really. but sort of when i think of the beautiful template i have created, and the thought of having to do it all over again. that and the fact that i don't actually remember what things i have done in my life, my gpa (who cares!), or honors without that piece of paper. ahhh, worthless lamenting. i'm done now.
i also ate a lot of knock-off brand chex mix today. it was delish!
i do!
who likes smelly cows?
i do!
who likes driving around looking for wireless internet?
i do!
who likes the thought of hanging out with friends behind the bail bonds store and eating thai food?
i do! i do!
day 1:
location: undisclosed. miles 350-something. mileage, still good.
i'm a bit worried (as i should be after sacrificing my first child, ok, some martha stewart stock, in order to pay to fix my car and give it new brakes, rotors, shocks, bearings, axle, fuel flush, etc etc) because jeepie is leakign something (still) and my mom was right when she said it smelled like gas. so i am going to do the responsible thing (like i always do) and ignore it and hope it goes away).
i'm also in a tizzy because i don't seem to have a copy of a resume anywhere. the last hard copy i had is in the files of my old employer, and the last not-so-hard-copy is on a computer (in north carolina) that refuses to do anything. and i might have a copy on disk, which also resides in north caroline in a house that does not have a computer that accepts disks. it's all my fault, and i'm crying. well, not really. but sort of when i think of the beautiful template i have created, and the thought of having to do it all over again. that and the fact that i don't actually remember what things i have done in my life, my gpa (who cares!), or honors without that piece of paper. ahhh, worthless lamenting. i'm done now.
i also ate a lot of knock-off brand chex mix today. it was delish!
not food poisoning
whatever mystery disease (what we thought was food related) that my l'il bro and i got on turkey day is apparently a bit more than some angry vegetables trying to ruin a day of family eating. i know this (because i am a doctor) because my dad got sick yesterday, and had the exact same symptoms. poor old guy. he's feeling better now. this makes the coincidence of l'il bro and i getting sick at the exact same time even more odd. and if we trace ourselves back 4 days prior to getting ill (the amount of time it took my dad to get sick), kirk and i were eating japanese food together. odd? hmmmm. i'm just glad my dad's ok.
brian and i went out for dinner at firefly, delicious south pasadena cuisine, then went home to watch some dogs on nova. i took an enjoyable sangria enduced nap, and woke up in time to watch the end of the biggest loser, which brian had to explain to me in detail. who knew.
today was another great day. packing car. cleaning car windows (i've been longing for this for days!) running errands: getting a new phone (the old one had some problems and they kindly replaced it hassle free, i love sprint), dropping some clothes off at out of the closet, and doing some inspirational browsing at the shops in south pasadena. the best part of the day, however, was my leisurely sleep in! i decided to just stay curled up in the warm bed until 11:30, watching the sun and blue sky and trees out the window. it was great, especially since this is my last day before hitting the eastbound road.
who loves driving? i do!
blogging may be sparse for the next days, but that doesn't really matter since no one reads this blog anyhow.
whatever mystery disease (what we thought was food related) that my l'il bro and i got on turkey day is apparently a bit more than some angry vegetables trying to ruin a day of family eating. i know this (because i am a doctor) because my dad got sick yesterday, and had the exact same symptoms. poor old guy. he's feeling better now. this makes the coincidence of l'il bro and i getting sick at the exact same time even more odd. and if we trace ourselves back 4 days prior to getting ill (the amount of time it took my dad to get sick), kirk and i were eating japanese food together. odd? hmmmm. i'm just glad my dad's ok.
brian and i went out for dinner at firefly, delicious south pasadena cuisine, then went home to watch some dogs on nova. i took an enjoyable sangria enduced nap, and woke up in time to watch the end of the biggest loser, which brian had to explain to me in detail. who knew.
today was another great day. packing car. cleaning car windows (i've been longing for this for days!) running errands: getting a new phone (the old one had some problems and they kindly replaced it hassle free, i love sprint), dropping some clothes off at out of the closet, and doing some inspirational browsing at the shops in south pasadena. the best part of the day, however, was my leisurely sleep in! i decided to just stay curled up in the warm bed until 11:30, watching the sun and blue sky and trees out the window. it was great, especially since this is my last day before hitting the eastbound road.
who loves driving? i do!
blogging may be sparse for the next days, but that doesn't really matter since no one reads this blog anyhow.
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